Surrender-Song Story 1

I was married at the time I wrote this song. It was the first to ever be put on paper. This song literally came out of a desperation for God to help me. As I mentioned, I was married but my husband was not or didn't appear to be. But since this is about my healing, that is all I will say about him. I admit I did not seek God before I "sort of" demanded marriage. Two of my biggest mistakes. My marriage was emotionally, spiritually, mentally and eventually physically taking a toll on me. Although I had much spiritual support from friends it seemed as if I was fighting a losing battle. I eventually stopped trying. I befriended a co-worker, a married, male co-worker and soon we became inseparable. Another huge mistake. I believed that relationship helped me through a lot of unhappy moments but in reality I was creating another set of what would become unhappy moments. My experience shows me that when you seek help, comfort, counsel from the wrong source, destruction is not far behind. I had turned from God without showing I had turned away. I still looked the part but I felt so far from His Presence. This song began as a simple admission to God that I had messed up. I was sorry and I needed His help. This was my prayer. As I continued to pray this way, I realized that I was still trying to fix it. I hadn't surrendered it all to Him. I started to write my prayer and the words kept coming as I kept releasing my heart to God. My prayer became my plea which became my song and the beginning of my deliverance.